Impasse
by paynesgrey
Summary: Desperate to understand each other, Rey and Kylo Ren meet in secret. One-shot.


AN: Written for my "touch-starved" square for hc-bingo at Dreamwidth. This is a one-shot and will not be continued.

* * *

Impasse

"This won't do," he said with aggravation. She disappeared before his view again, willing the force link to close. He noticed a flash of anger in her eyes from his words.

He needed to touch her. The fight in the red throne room burned in his memory. They'd fought back-to-back in perfect sync, and every little touch, caress, and bump felt as hot as the scar on his face.

Her faith in him and her words had meaning too, but the moments that he felt her were like dying and being born all over again.

Kylo Ren stared at the spot where Rey had just disappeared. For minutes they had seen each other, gaping with curiosity more than anything and saying very little.

He held out his hand again to her, pleading. She opened her mouth, with slight surprise, but she did not take it again.

She was also becoming adept at hiding her location. He could not tell her surroundings, which he assumed was to conceal the location of those remaining Resistance fighters. He really didn't care.

Kylo Ren only wanted Rey, and he felt he should starve without her skin against his.

Was this all Snoke's doing? No, they had forged a bond before - the first time they met when he interrogated her. He'd had visions of her, and he knew only peace in those far off dreams with her by his side.

Days later, he saw her again. He felt ragged and he was sure he looked it. He didn't get any sleep, and he had tried because he knew in sleep he could see her. She'd haunt him everywhere, even when his eyes closed.

"We can't keep meeting like this and say nothing," she finally said. She was as frustrated as he was.

"I don't want to talk, Rey. I want to see you in person again," he stated bluntly.

She lifted her chin. "And you always get what you want?"

"Please," he said, and he felt low for begging. His mind wasn't right, not in her presence. She stepped forward and held out her fingers, grazing over his cheek through the Force. He closed his eyes, hungry for more.

"Pick the place, and I will come in two days," she said, almost in a whisper.

"And then?"

"And then I show you the future of you that I saw, and you show me what you saw. I'm assuming that it'll mean more when we meet in person. Maybe we can understand each other and find a solution. Maybe one of us can finally choose..."

Kylo Ren was more than in favor of her idea. He nodded once, and she tensed.

He spoke. "There are twin stars in the Illenium System. Near that the remnants of a destroyed planet and a wayward satellite. Meet me on the dark side of that satellite," he said, and Rey nodded.

"I'll be there."

* * *

He found her waiting by the satellite in a rusted barely functioning leisure ship and not the _Millenium Falcon_. The sun was rising on the other side, and he opened the dock as she directed her ship inside.

Kylo Ren was alone on this ship, telling the First Order some lie about looking for Resistance members on his own. He was Supreme Leader, so he could do as he pleased.

Rey met him in the docking bay, and the two of them stared at each other before Rey held her hand over her blaster. On her belt, he could see a new lightsaber in her possession.

"You won't need weapons," he said simply.

"Won't I?" she asked, hesitating. He made his way over to her and she froze. When he came up to her, she watched him curiously. She held out a hand. "Ben," and he loved the way his name spilled from her lips. When her palm rested on his cheek, he closed his eyes. Yes, this was the touch he craved.

"Let me show you what I see," he said, and he pulled her against him and captured her mouth. She struggled somewhat from the shock, and then melted against him as visions exploded like stars in front of her.

 _Rey saw a very different version of herself. She was wearing a long, light gray gown that glittered like the stars every time the light touched it. She held out her hand, and beside her Supreme Leader Kylo Ren took it. He did not smile, but she could see satisfaction in his eyes._

 _They were dressed regally, and she was wearing a crown and his hair was pulled back in a tail, unlike his usual messy look. His suit was decorated, like a king or a soldier, and his boots were heavy against a marble floor. Behind her, two handmaidens carried the train of her dress. At the end of their walkway, an alien in white robes held out a book, a book that looked like the Jedi texts she had taken, and he waited patiently for them to approach._

 _Kylo Ren led her forward, and she could hear gasps and whisperings from the crowd._

 _As Kylo Ren kissed her, he showed her their future wedding - the wedding of the rulers of the galaxy._

* * *

Rey pulled out of Kylo Ren's kiss, and she was bewildered by the onslaught of visions. She had turned to Kylo Ren and accepted his offer in that vision, so she understood how adamant he had been to reach out to her.

He had wanted her not to just rule, but she could feel something similar in what she had seen. He wanted her as his wife. He loved her, and she fell in love with him. Together their power was unstoppable and uncanny, but also together they were complete. Light and Dark. Night and Day. Death and Life.

He watched her reaction as thoughts buzzed in her head.

"Now do you see?" he asked. She nodded and didn't let go of her grip on his arms. She looked up at him, determined.

"Your turn, Ben," she said, and she reached up and kissed him hard. He made a sound of surprise and then drew her tightly against his chest, as if he was afraid she'd let go.

Rey held him just as tightly, and she showed him what she saw.

 _Sunlight surrounded them, and children were playing in a circle. Rey laughed as she lazily rested in Ben's lap. He was reading a book on calligraphy, and she was writing in her journal. Their picnic lunch was mostly gone next to them, and they were relaxed enough that they could fall asleep any moment in each other's arms._

 _Commotion startled Rey out from Ben's lap and she looked ahead to the children. "Hey Han, don't use the force on your sister. Leia, do not smack your brother with that stick!"_

 _The children continued to argue. Rey felt Ben sit up from his peaceful reading. "Listen to your mother."_

 _The moment Han and Leia heard their father speak, the misbehaving stopped and they returned to little angels. Rey huffed in annoyance, and Ben laughed, drawing her in for a sweet kiss._

Kylo Ren staggered against her, and he rested his head on hers after he broke the kiss. The peaceful scene that he saw in her mind was something he did not expect. He didn't expect there to be such peace.

And he didn't expect them to have children.

He understood why Rey felt so hard to turn him from the dark side. In her future, she had a family - one she never had her whole life and he gave that to her.

"You saw, didn't you?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. He did not want to let her go. The moment she pulled away, he brought her back. Both visions enticed him, and in every one of them, she was with him and they loved each other.

"Ben, I… I can't make a decision. Not now. Don't make me choose, not when I see a future like that. I can't… I can't give it up," she said.

He nodded. "I don't want to fight you. I need you. I want you by my side, but I can't… I can't go back to the Resistance. I've made my path."

"Ben, please," Rey pleaded, her hands framing his face. Slowly, he pulled her hands off of him. Against every fiber of his being, he released her. The loss of her touch was already scalding him and turning him cold.

"You should go," he said. "I need to think about what I saw." He paused and he watched tears stream down her face. "You should think on it too."

Rey watched him walk away, and reluctantly she made her way back to her ship. She took one look back at him and saw him staring at her, his eyes burning with possession and fury. He didn't want to release her any more than she wanted to leave.

"We'll see each other again, Ben," she said. "You are still my hope."

Kylo Ren gritted his teeth, and when she left, he exploded in anger and smashed bulkheads and panels, screaming his pain as he let her go. With his head in his hands, he headed back to the First Order. Rey's touch was still sizzling on his skin.

He couldn't go on like this anymore. Nothing else mattered but Rey, and if he didn't have her soon - in his arms and by his side, the whole galaxy would be doomed.

END


End file.
